LAST MEAL

Sometimes people ask me why I don’t write about food considering my business is a food business. Yes, I can write about food, but as I am already prepping and cooking food all day long, the last thing I want to think about is food – no matter how passionate I am about that subject and how much I love my job. I would rather write about some weird random thing that I experienced or recently saw. As I am finishing writing this sentence, however, I suddenly cannot remember what the hell I was going to write about.

For God sake!

I will save at least 45 minutes a day if I can always remember what I was about to do or why did I go to a particular room in my house.

Ok then, I give up. Let’s talk about food!

Have you ever thought, if you’re on death row and you need to order your last meal, what it would be? Do it quickly, without over thinking it, the first thing that pops into your head!

Mine will be KFC, but just the skin (don’t you dare judge me, it’s my last meal and I’m not about to order a Caesar Salad!). Original and crispy. But not the KFC from England, I want it from Malaysia. It is much tastier and the spicy chicken is crispier too. That would be the starter course.

For the main, I will have a selection of prawns cooked in different ways, deep fried, boiled, curried etc. I also would like Tuaran Mee goreng (fried noodle from the Tuaran district in Sabah) and Nasi Lemak with Chicken Rendang.

I would have this food with a bottle of champagne. Maybe I am pushing this a bit too much as the prison will not want to spend on champagne.

For dessert I would go for Malaysian style banana fritters, even though I don’t like banana. But banana fritters are very tasty if done correctly. This will go down well with Tea Tarik (Indian style pulled tea).

However, the Banana Fritters are not going to be the last dish. I would like to finish the meal with fresh oysters. I don’t care if it is potentially going to give me food poisoning – I may poop all over my death bed when they finally inject me with the poison. Someone will then have the unfortunate job of cleaning up after my body.

This option is debatable though, as it depends on whether I would be allowed to have a conjugal visit afterwards?
If no then I may scrap the oysters. Last thing I want is to become one crazy horny ghost!!!